Secrets of the Night

I was going to call this The Night Journey 2, but I think this picture will explain why I didn’t.

The Cabinet of the Secrets of the Night

I kept getting up and walking around the house in the dark. I couldn’t remember it ever being as quiet as this before. It was like being in Dorset again; only there, creatures I never saw in the day kept talking to each other all night. But there was nothing here to stop me going out.

Although it was dark I could see that the windows were closed so I went to the backdoor and was just about to go through the flap when suddenly I stopped. I thought there was something on the other side waiting for me to put my head out. I didn’t hear anything but if there was something out there that’s where they’d be waiting.

The chair was in the wrong place again so it took a few tries before I could get to the kitchen window. At first I couldn’t see anything. It seemed even darker out there than it was inside. Then I could just make out the top of the tree next door; it looked like a ghost but that was probably because of all its little white flowers. I thought of going next door tomorrow and climbing up there just to see for myself.

I was about to jump down from the window when something outside caught my eye. It’s hard to explain how you could see a shadow in the dark, but that’s what I saw. I kept very still and waited. If the shadow moved again then the shadow or what was making the shadow must really be there. And if the shadow was prepared to wait then so was I. With the window between us I knew I’d have time to get down and get up the stairs.

Time doesn’t seem to know where to go when you’re keeping still, so I don’t know how long I was waiting there. Suddenly there were three taps at the back door.

Usually I know it’s Jenny before she taps on the door, but this time my mind must have wandered because it gave me quite a start. She was already inside when I got to the door and she laughed and said, “Where were you then?” But I thought it best that I didn’t say a word.

Sometimes I think we’re just not meant to enquire into the secrets of the night.

Here is another picture that shows I’m not afraid of what’s outside.

Fear of Flying

A Sudden Drop In Altitude

I have just received a message from Penelope saying that last night the aeroplane she was travelling in had a sudden drop in altitude and that she is still recovering from the shock.

As it was pitch dark outside, the passengers didn't know how near they had come to making an unscheduled and catastrophic landing in the frozen and inaccessible regions of the north.

Of additional concern to the passengers was the sight of sparks, then flames and dense smoke belching from the plane’s engines.

Penny then goes on to describe in brilliant and evocative detail the way her whole life flashed before her eyes like a classic Hollywood B-movie.

I responded immediately of course and I reproduce here a facsimile of the transcript of my instant response message to the poor girl.

Dear Penny,

So glad to hear from you and to know that you arrived safe and sound at your destination in wondrous Iceland.

I do hope that you enjoy the boiling springs and that you have the courage to climb all the way to the top of the 1783 Eruption Memorial Tower and see (cloud cover permitting) the magical icy landscape beckoning far below.

Do take care though in descending the often icy iron spiral stairs. Not many people realise that going down is far more hazardous than going up.

And another note of warning: Do not return on the intended date. For reasons unknown to me, all flights that day are being diverted to a football field on the outskirts of Istanbul.

Do not under any circumstances consider hitch-hiking home.

Yours,
Whisper

DID SHE SAY ICELAND?!

The Whiff

This just has to be one of my most favourite pictures. It always inspires me to greater feats of nonchalance in the face of The Whiff and I am grateful to Jenny for finding it for me.

So to begin. The first question is from “Clare”. According to Jenny, this arrived while I was in the garden looking at the back fence. I can’t think what I thought I was looking at.

Clare, I won’t repeat your question as it is of a personal nature, but thanks for being so concise. It touches on one of the eternal subjects: The Whiff.

I know just how you feel; The Whiff is one of the most unpleasant things you could possibly encounter. Best kept well away from.

Mind you, we cats are most certainly not afraid of The Whiff. Rather it’s the other way around. And unfortunately there are times when the thing just has to be dealt with. Look at the picture: Could even be me up there on the step standing my ground and making the silly clown cower before me.

The Whiff thinks it has every right to do whatever comes into its whiffy head, but not everybody wants to share its excitement.

So we have learned not to do the first thing that comes into our heads. We don’t run (well, not if we can help it). And we have mastered the technique of not showing any interest whatsoever.

However, sometimes you just have to stand there and put The Whiff right. Easier said than done? Not really. The cat in the picture (it just has to be me) is correcting The Whiff on some very important points. Whiff logic seems to make the silly clowns think they’re always right. And of course no one can be always right, especially not whiffs.

So, there she is, up on the step and saying just what she thinks of the absurdity’s line of reasoning. And you can bet, whoever she is, when she got home that night she stood very tall by the refrigerator door.

However, remember that sometimes running might after all be the best option. Just keep in mind: The Whiff doesn't know what it's doing; you do.

I do hope that answers your question, Clare. Chin up girl! Next time something comes along that gives you cause to fear, just think of it as The Whiff and deal with it accordingly. As discussed.

Once you get a taste for it you’ll be laughing!