Fear of Flying

A Sudden Drop In Altitude

I have just received a message from Penelope saying that last night the aeroplane she was travelling in had a sudden drop in altitude and that she is still recovering from the shock.

As it was pitch dark outside, the passengers didn't know how near they had come to making an unscheduled and catastrophic landing in the frozen and inaccessible regions of the north.

Of additional concern to the passengers was the sight of sparks, then flames and dense smoke belching from the plane’s engines.

Penny then goes on to describe in brilliant and evocative detail the way her whole life flashed before her eyes like a classic Hollywood B-movie.

I responded immediately of course and I reproduce here a facsimile of the transcript of my instant response message to the poor girl.

Dear Penny,

So glad to hear from you and to know that you arrived safe and sound at your destination in wondrous Iceland.

I do hope that you enjoy the boiling springs and that you have the courage to climb all the way to the top of the 1783 Eruption Memorial Tower and see (cloud cover permitting) the magical icy landscape beckoning far below.

Do take care though in descending the often icy iron spiral stairs. Not many people realise that going down is far more hazardous than going up.

And another note of warning: Do not return on the intended date. For reasons unknown to me, all flights that day are being diverted to a football field on the outskirts of Istanbul.

Do not under any circumstances consider hitch-hiking home.

Yours,
Whisper

DID SHE SAY ICELAND?!