Tokyo Time Machine

Hope was rekindled recently by news that a "Time and Cross-Dimensional Transporter” had been unveiled in Tokyo, a town believed to lie on the upper reaches of the Thames.

If this machine could have done even half of what was claimed for it there might have been the possibility of revisiting the moon in that distant time when the strange events regarding the crashed British UFO occurred.

The problem was that the British Lunar Expeditionary Forces Memorial Troupe were concerned that this which they considered to be an entirely unflightworthy contraption just happened to bear a striking resemblance to a famous London landmark and might, therefore, infringe upon ancient rights and privileges.

However, a spokesperson for the makers of the machine, The Tokyo Time Machine Company, was reported to have said, “Any resemblance of our unique and utterly enchanting vehicle to your so-called 'Big Ben' is purely coincidental. Yours goes 'Bong Bong' while ours is gone before you even know it’s there! So there!"

Ha! He put himself right in it there. No one had even mentioned Big Ben! The whole thing now appears to have been some kind of pyramid scheme and the proprietors of the company were swiftly ensconced on the back benches of the government and have to this day refused to comment on the whole unhappy enterprise.

The plastic bag containing the original plans and secret formulas is said to have been "accidentally" left under a table in a notorious North London Pub.

It is also rumoured that the fearsome prototype of the machine, having been abandoned in the Tokyo countryside, being struck one day by summer lightning, powered itself up and spontaneously transported two elderly ramblers back so far in time that all hope of ever recovering them has been abandoned.

All that remained of the hapless couple was a small grass fire which mysteriously still refuses to be extinguished.

Oh well, never mind.