How It All Went Badly Wrong

A nice picture to take our minds off the bewildering events of the present times.

There have of late been so many unforeseen interruptions and unheralded occurrences that we are in danger of losing our way in the labyrinth of strangeness now known to us as the saga of the still-unfolding alien invasion.

We are in fact inclined to exclaim with our dear friend Alice (don’t ask which one), Where am I? What’s going on?

So a brief (as if it were now even possible) recap.

Evidently triggered by the volcanic apparitions of a few months ago and under cover of all the sulphurous smoke and sparks, strange flying vehicles were sighted at conspicuously low altitudes apparently taking an interest in our sculpture parks and abandoned playing fields.

If only we had realised at the time that they were just looking for temporary landing places in order to escape the smoke and fumes all might have turned out well. But, no. The traditional British extended breakfast and a cleverly disguised esoteric skilfulness in the use of irony ruled the day.

So what else could the visitors do but land en mass all higgledy-piggledy and immediately fill their newly-acquired caravans and bungalows with the latest Tesco technological wizardry. We heard of choirs of smoke alarms sirening into the early hours and causing unease among the lovely dawn choruses. Garden sheds were seen being hammered together from bicycle wheels and outward-facing 42” plasma screens. What a racket!

Then suddenly it all went badly wrong. And you know the rest.

Actually, looking at the picture again, something now seems transparently obvious. The mother is pointing out to her little boy what appears to be a giant and elaborately designed interplanetary vehicle, half hidden by billowing emissions, in the process of lifting off from the Earth.

A vision of the future for her child to remember? Who knows? But from all the signs laid before us, this can only be what has been described as a “Mother Ship”. And what’s more, doesn’t it strike you as bearing a remarkable resemblance to popular postcard views of a certain city… London?

Another old photograph from my collection might throw even further light on the mystery.

A typical view of London taken in such a far ago age that no one now living remembers a thing about it.  Visible here is not just one but two giant vehicles that certainly seem to have attracted the attention of the local populous.

Which all leads to the inescapable conclusion that not only has preparation been long underway but that London itself is a massive Mothership which, all evidence suggests, is now on the verge of taking off for who knows where. After all, wasn’t it the moon that was once rumoured to be the destination of Britain?

No wonder so many visitors are coming on board at the last minute.

One dare not even think about the fate of anyone left behind.